Pirate Rules (Pt. 2) ...
[Here is the final part of Pirate Rules] ...7. A pirate must never visit a tanning salon. If he is not already tan enough from searching for treasure, he hasn't been searching hard enough.
8. A pirate may never wear another man's clothing, unless he first kills that man.
9. No pirate may do the arm movements for "YMCA", or engage in country-western line-dancing.
10. Under no circumstances is a comb-over an acceptable pirate hairdo.
11. Only a pirate is capable of killing another pirate. If you are not a pirate (let's say a ninja) and wish to challenge a pirate, they have a word for that. Corpse.
12. Three-cornered hats, headbands and bandanas are the only acceptable headwear for pirates. Fedoras, bowler derbies, baseball caps, mickey ears, top hats, sombreros, or anything with lace and flowers will be removed from the vessel— head included. A grace period of one minute is allowed for hats looted from a tailory.
13. No pirate shall drink Grog out of a glass. Grog is only to be consumed either straight from the barrel, or from a mug heavy enough to kill a man.
14. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying.
15. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are outlawed.
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